Go Ahead !! Do It ! Whats Your Mess Today ??

The last month here at the tiny house has been happening at warp speed, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. I was sitting here tonight watching Noah spinning around in circles, a Marvel character in each hand, scripting lines from the movie “Spider man” and teared up because that’s what happens to us autism parents sometimes, we just tear up because there is this wall between us and our kiddos that sometimes just seems impossible to hurdle. Really I just wanted to snuggle him and he just wanted to spin in circles and script, he didn’t want to be touched. Scripting is a big part of our lives, he hears or see something that impacts him and he mirrors it back, sometimes it’s entire movies,even in other languages other times its a phrase that shocked him, lately its been “shut the fuck up”, a phrase that he heard from another kid at school that has infiltrated his until now innocent scripts. Do you know what I want to hear ? I want to hear how my son feels about something, anything and know that it was his thought or idea I want to know what he thinks Warp speed I say !! The good bad and ugly. I’m writing this from so many lenses right now. I am a professional that hasn’t been able to work due to a shoulder injury. I am the sole supporter that doesn’t know where the next paycheck is coming from. I’m a church member who just found out her pastor has died. I’m a tiny house owner who has stepped outside of the normal to attain the dream of the stability of home ownership. I am a Christian who flails around in her walk. A mom that works hard to do her best for her children and often fails miserable more than succeeds. I’m a single woman who hasn’t given up on love but is terrified all at the same time. I’m a blogger who writes all this personal stuff about our lives for everyone to see simply in hopes that being a mess, being human will some how be the excepted norm so we no longer have to hide our messes, so maybe we will start to feel more alike than different and do our messes together. No one should have to bear the weight of the world on their shoulder out of fear of rejection or shame. I saw a post on Facebook yesterday that really ticked me off. The lady who wrote it was shaming mothers with ASD children for “complaining” about their children. It made me furious !! When a mother who is probably isolated due to the behavioral barriers of her child reaches out on social media to either find support of find a place to vent I applaud her because I know she hasn’t given up the fight, she’s looking for what she needs to do this another day. This lady would nail me to the cross !! As Ive said before, lets do this mess together ! As for me and my blog, if you want to jump on here and post what your struggling with today, you just go ahead and go for it, type away. You are welcome here with your messy self ! 🙂