There is this weird space that happens in the middle of something big, something hard. Its like this chaos that just sits in one spot and you move in and out of it but its always in the room. For a second I can start thinking about working on the house or making plans and then I walk through the spot and it takes my breath away. For a minute I think “I need to shake this” and the next minute I need to just go just sit in the spot. Some how my days continue to happen, I get to work, make supper, clean the house, love on the kiddo while still tripping over the “spot” every time I let my guard down. A place between “don’t smile” but “don’t cry” . A mix of sad, missing, mad yet grateful all at the same time. The thought that has resonated in my mind the last few days is 2 Corinthian’s 5:8 “to be away from the body is to be at home with the lord”, it has comforted me. Then a few people have said to me” I guess that God needed another Angel”. As I write this and was thinking about that statement I know that the Bible doesn’t say we will ever BE Angels it says we will reign OVER the Angels ( 1 Corinthians 6:1-3) . Thinking of Teresa reigning over Angels honestly made me chuckle to myself for a minute. That lady was always up for a good project and her gift was in administration, you know I would almost bet ya she has all those angels wearing scarves and she remodeled the place up there by now, she’s got them studying and she checking to make sure their books are straight ! HA !! I’m just going to stop right here and stay in THIS spot for now. You all have a good evening 🙂

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One Reply to “The SPOT”

  1. You nailed the feeling of grief completely.
    I’ve been dealing with that spot for a year and half. I see the spot is getting smaller, now.
    Sometimes I want to avoid/ignore the spot and at other times, I want to be swallowed by it. Those later times are happening less and less.
    I lost my Mom. I, too, don’t call her an Angel. I simply say “She’s earned her Heaven.” and I feel better.
    If you ever want to talk, cry share stories or vent – pm me on FB and I’ll give you my #. I mean this. I’m home from work by 9pm. 💖
    God’s got you!

    Like

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